Mu buzima bwa muntu, urukundo ni ingenzi cyane, ariko akenshi rurananirana si uko rutariho, ahubwo ni uko rutavugwa mu rurimi rumvikana ku mpande zombi. Aha ni ho igitabo The Five Love Languages cyanditswe na Dr. Gary Chapman gifite umumaro udasanzwe. Iki gitabo gisobanura ko buri muntu afite ururimi rwihariye yumvamo urukundo, kandi iyo urwo rurimi rutumvikanye, n’urukundo rwinshi rushobora kumvikana nk’aho rudahari.
Iki gitabo cyahinduye imitekerereze ya benshi ku bijyanye n’urukundo mu bashakanye, abakundana, imiryango ndetse n’inshuti. Chapman atwereka ko kumenya no gukoresha love language y’uwo ukunda bishobora gusana umubano wasenyutse, kongera icyizere, no kuzamura urukundo nyarwo.
Love Language ni iki?
Love Language (Ururimi rw’urukundo) ni uburyo umuntu yumva, yakira, kandi asobanura urukundo. Nk’uko abantu bavuga indimi zitandukanye (Icyongereza, Igifaransa, Ikinyarwanda), ni ko no mu rukundo bavuga indimi zitandukanye. Ikibazo gikomeye kibaho iyo impande zombi zivuga indimi zitandukanye z’urukundo, buri wese agatanga urukundo mu buryo bwe, ariko uwo aruha ntarumve.
Gary Chapman agaragaza ko hari indimi eshanu z’ingenzi z’urukundo, kandi nubwo umuntu ashobora kugiramo ebyiri cyangwa eshatu, hari imwe iba ari nyamukuru.
Indimi Eshanu z’Urukundo (The Five Love Languages)
1. Gushima no Guhumuriza
Abantu bafite uru rurimi bumva bakunzwe iyo babwiwe amagambo meza, abashima kandi abatera imbaraga. Ijambo rito rivuye ku mutima rishobora kubaha ibyishimo byinshi kurusha impano ihenze, bwamwe muri aba uba usanga bakunda kwandikirwa amagamo menshi muri message ndede , bakunda kuganirizwa cyane kandi uba ugomba kumenya amagambo ubabwira , kugirango utabakomeretsa Iyo utanze igitekerezo kubyo muganira birabashimisha cyane
Ingero:
• “Ndabishimira cyane ibyo unkoreye.”
• “Ndagukunda kandi nkwishimiye uko uri.”
• “Uri umuntu w’agaciro kanini kuri njye.”
Ku bantu bafite uru rurimi, amagambo mabi cyangwa amagambo avuzwe atatekerejweho ashobora kubakomeretsa cyane.
Isomo rikomeye: Amagambo ni nk’imiti ku mutima wabo.
2. Igihe abakundana bama bari kumwe
Aba bantu bumva bakunzwe iyo bahayewe igihe cyuzuye, kitavangwamo n’ibindi, nko kureba telefoni, TV, cyangwa imirimo. Si ubwinshi bw’igihe, ahubwo ni ubwiza bwacyo , bakunda umuntu ubaha umwanya bagatemberana ,yagukumbura akakubona kuko iyo atakubonye yumva hari ikintu abura bisaba ko umwereka ko uba umwitayeho iyo muri kumwe kandi ukamuganairiza umwishiye.
Ingero:
• Kuganira witegereza uwo muri kumwe
• Kugenda mufata urugendo mwembi
• Gusangira ibitekerezo n’inzozi
Ku muntu ufite uru rurimi, kwirengagizwa ni nko kumubwira ko atagufitiye akamaro.
Isomo rikomeye: Igihe ni ikimenyetso cy’agaciro.
3. Gutanga impano zifite urwibutso
Abantu benshi bibeshya ko uru rurimi ruvuga ubukire, nyamara siko biri. Ku bafite uru rurimi, impano ni ikimenyetso gifatika cy’urukundo ntabwo impano isobanura agaciro kamafaranga yaguzwe ahubwo isobanura uwayikuguriye ubwitange yagize, kuko iyo mpano iyo ayirebye arakwibuka kandi akakuzirizana
Impano ishobora kuba nto cyane, ariko igaragaza ko:
• wamwibutse
• wamutekerejeho
• wamuhaye agaciro
Ingero:
• indabyo
• ubutumwa bwanditse ku rupapuro
• ikintu cyoroshye gishushanya urukundo
Isomo rikomeye: Si agaciro k’impano, ni umutima wayiherekeje.
4. Gufashanya
Ku bantu bafite uru rurimi, urukundo ruvugwa mu bikorwa, si mu magambo. Iyo ubakoreye ikintu, bumva ari uko ubakunda bakunda umuntu ubereka ko yabitangira cyangwa yakora byinshi kubwabo.
Ingero:
• kumufasha imirimo yo mu rugo
• kumutegurira ikintu
• kumurinda umunaniro
Kuri bo, amagambo menshi adaherekejwe n’ibikorwa aba ari ubusa.
Isomo rikomeye: “Nkunda” bivugwa n’ibyo ukora.
5. Gukorana ho
Iyi love language ivuga ku gukoranaho mu buryo bwuje urukundo: gufatana ukuboko, guhobera, gusomana, cyangwa kuba hafi y’uwo ukunda.
Ku bafite uru rurimi, intera n’ubukonje bw’umubiri bishobora kumvikana nko kutakundwa.
Isomo rikomeye: Umubiri uba ururimi rw’umutima.
Kuki Love Language ari ingenzi cyane mu mibanire?
Gary Chapman asobanura ko abantu benshi batandukana batakundanye, ahubwo batumvikanye mu ndimi z’urukundo. Umuntu ashobora kuvuga ati: “Naramukundaga cyane”, undi ati: “Sinigeze numva ankunda.”
Iyo umenya love language ya:
• uwo mwashakanye
• uwo mukundana
• umwana
• inshuti
…uhindura uko ugaragaza urukundo, ugatangira kuruvuga mu rurimi rumugeraho.
Love Language mu muryango no mu burere
Iki gitabo ntikireba abakundana gusa. Chapman agaragaza ko abana na bo bafite indimi z’urukundo. Umwana ushobora kuba afite impano nyinshi ariko agacika intege kuko we akenera amagambo cyangwa igihe.
Iyo umubyeyi amenye love language y’umwana:
• aramurera neza
• aramwubaka mu mutima
• aramurinda ibikomere by’igihe kirekire
Isomo rikomeye ry’igitabo
Love Language itwigisha ko:
• Urukundo si ibyiyumvo gusa, ni ubuhanga
• Gukunda neza bisaba kwiga uwo ukunda
• Gukunda uko wowe ubishaka si ko buri gihe biba bihagije
• Urukundo ruraramba iyo ruvugwa mu rurimi rumvikana
Umusozo: Kuki iki gitabo ari ingenzi uyu munsi?
Mu isi y’uyu munsi yuzuyemo kwihuta, stress, n’ikoranabuhanga, abantu benshi barigunga no mu mubano. The Five Love Languages ni nk’ikarita igufasha gusubira ku by’ibanze by’urukundo: kumva no kumvwa.
Iki gitabo kigufasha:
• gusana umubano wasenyutse
• kongera ubushyuhe mu rukundo
• kumenya uwo uri we n’uwo ukunda
Mu by’ukuri, iyo uhinduye ururimi uvugamo urukundo, uhindura n’umubano wawe wose.
📄 Open PDF (1769592091_content_2_Love_language_-_Jax_Calder_-_Deeply_Research_Ijd.pdf)
Comments
Thanks