INGARUKA ZO GUFATA NABI UMUKOZI WIRIRWANA N'ABANA BAWE KU MITEKEREREZE YABO.

Umuryango ni wo ishuri rya mbere ry’uburere n’imyitwarire y’umwana. Ibyo abana babona cyangwa bumva mu rugo bigira uruhare rukomeye mu buryo batekereza, bumva isi, n’uko bazitwara mu buzima bwabo bwose. Iyo ababyeyi bafata nabi umukozi wo mu rugo bamukorera ivangura, kumutuka, kumukubita, cyangwa kumusebya abana babibona, bakabyigira nk’imico isanzwe. Uko bigenda bikagera mu mitekerereze yabo bikagira ingaruka ku buryo bazitwara mu muryango n’abandi bantu.
Abahanga mu myitwarire y’abana nka Albert Bandura (1977), Erik Erikson (1963) na Jean Piaget (1972) bose bahuriza ku bitekerezo by’uko abana biga cyane babona ibyo ababyeyi bakora kurusha ibyo bababwira. Iyo babona ihohoterwa cyangwa kutubahiriza uburenganzira bw’abandi, babifata nk’ibisanzwe. Iyi nyandiko isobanura impamvu eshanu zigaragaza uburyo gufata nabi umukozi wo mu rugo bishobora kugira ingaruka ku mitekerereze y’abana bakiri bato.

1. Umwana yigira ku byo abona (Teori ya Bandura (1977)
Albert Bandura mu nyigisho ye yiswe Social Learning Theory yagaragaje ko abana biga cyane babona nkoresha (observation and imitation). Iyo umwana abona ababyeyi be batuka, basebya cyangwa bakubita umukozi wo mu rugo, yiga ko gukoresha imbaraga cyangwa amagambo mabi ari uburyo bwo gukemura ibibazo.
Iyo myitwarire imubamo ikagira ingaruka mu buzima bwe bw’ishuri no mu mibanire n’abandi. Ashobora gukura ari umuntu udaha abandi icyubahiro cyangwa wumva ko hari abantu "bakwiye gufatwa nabi." Ku rundi ruhande, bishobora kumutera ubwoba n’agahinda, agakura afite isoni zo kuvugana n’abandi.

2. Guhungabana k’amarangamutima (Emotional insecurity)
Umwana ukura mu rugo rugaragaramo gufatwa nabi k’umukozi, aba abona urugero rw’umutekano muke. Mu by’ukuri, umukozi wo mu rugo aba ari umuntu ugaragara nk’umunyantege nke; iyo ababyeyi bamufata nabi, umwana yiga ko umuntu ushobora kuba afite ububasha ashobora kubukoresha nabi ku bandi.
John Bowlby (1988) muri Attachment Theory yerekanye ko abana bakura neza iyo babonye umutekano mu muryango. Iyo babona amakimbirane cyangwa ihohoterwa, bumva isi ari ahantu hadatekanye, bikabatera guhungabana, kwigunga, ndetse n’agahinda gakabije (anxiety, fear). Uwo mutekano muke w’amarangamutima ushobora kubakurikirana kugeza bakuze.

3. Kubura indangagaciro z’ubutabera n’ubumuntu
Umwana wigira mu rugo aho abantu bafatwa mu buryo butangana yiga ko ubuzima nabwo bushingiye ku ivangura. Ababyeyi bagomba kuba urugero rw’indangagaciro nk’ubwubahane, impuhwe, n’ubutabera. Ariko iyo bafata nabi umukozi wo mu rugo, baba batwigisha ko umuntu afite agaciro gake bitewe n’ubwoko bwe, akazi ke, cyangwa ubukene.
Erikson (1963) yasobanuye ko mu gihe cy’ubwana, abana biga kumenya ikiza n’ikibi bitewe n’uburyo ababyeyi babitwara. Iyo babonye ababyeyi babo bagira impuhwe, biga imbabazi n’ubumuntu. Iyo babona ivangura n’ihohoterwa, biga ubukana no kutagira impuhwe. Ibi bishobora gutuma bakura batubaha abandi kandi badatekereza ku ngaruka z’ibyo bakora.

4. Kugira ibibazo by’imibanire mu gihe kizaza
Umwana ubona guhohoterwa mu rugo ashobora gukura afite ibibazo byo mu mibanire (relationship problems). Nk’uko byagaragajwe na Cicchetti & Toth (2005), abana babonye ihohoterwa mu bwana bakura bafite imbogamizi mu kugira ubushobozi bwo kubana neza n’abandi, bagira ibibazo byo kubwira amarangamutima yabo cyangwa kwizerana n’abandi.
Iyo ababyeyi bafata nabi umukozi, umwana ashobora gukura yumva ko gukoresha uburakari no kugundira ububasha ari bwo buryo bwo kugenzura abandi. Ku bandi, bishobora gutera ubwoba bwo kubana n’abandi, kuko baba babonye ko urugo rwabo rutabaga ahatekanye.

5. Kubangamirwa mu mikurire y’imyumvire n’amarangamutima
Uko umwana akura, imitekerereze ye ikura ishingiye ku byo abona n’uburyo ababyeyi bitwara. Jean Piaget (1972) yagaragaje ko abana bigira mu buryo bw’"imitwe y’imyumvire" (schemas) bakura bakagendana n’ibyo babonye. Iyo umwana abona ihohoterwa rikorerwa umukozi wo mu rugo, bigira uruhare mu buryo yiga gusobanura isi: ashobora kumva ko gukandamiza abandi ari ibisanzwe, cyangwa ko guceceka imbere y’ihohoterwa ari byo byiza.
Iyo myumvire itari yo ishobora gutuma akura afite amarangamutima adatuje, uburakari cyangwa kumva ko abantu bose ari abanzi. Abashakashatsi nka UNICEF (2018) na WHO (2020) bagaragaza ko abana babura umutekano w’amarangamutima mu bwana bashobora kugira ibibazo by’imitekerereze n’imyitwarire bikomeza no mu gihe bakuze.

Umwanzuro
Gufata nabi umukozi wo mu rugo si ikibazo cy’umukozi gusa, ahubwo ni ikibazo cy’uburere n’imyitwarire y’abana. Ababyeyi bagomba kumenya ko ibyo bakora imbere y’abana biba ari isomo ry’ingenzi ribabumbira imico n’indangagaciro bazakura bafite. Kubaha no gufata neza umukozi wo mu rugo ni uburyo bwo kwigisha abana impuhwe, ubumuntu, n’icyubahiro cy’abantu bose.
Iyo umwana akuriye mu muryango wubahiriza buri muntu, akura afite umutima mwiza, icyizere, n’ubushobozi bwo kubaka sosiyete irangwa n’ubutabera. Ariko iyo abona ihohoterwa n’ihohoterwa rikorerwa abandi, akura afite umujinya, ubwoba, n’imyumvire itari myiza. Guhindura imyumvire y’ababyeyi mu gufata neza abakozi bo mu rugo ni intambwe ikomeye yo kubaka ejo hazaza h’abana bafite imitekerereze myiza n’indangagaciro nziza.

References
1. Bandura, A. (1977). Social Learning Theory. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice-Hall.
2. Bowlby, J. (1988). A Secure Base: Parent-Child Attachment and Healthy Human Development. New York: Basic Books.
3. Erikson, E. H. (1963). Childhood and Society. New York: W. W. Norton & Company.
4. Piaget, J. (1972). The Psychology of the Child. New York: Basic Books.
5. Cicchetti, D., & Toth, S. L. (2005). Child Maltreatment. Annual Review of Clinical Psychology, 1(1), 409–438.
6. UNICEF. (2018). Early Moments Matter for Every Child. New York: United Nations Children’s Fund.
7. World Health Organization (WHO). (2020). Nurturing Care for Early Childhood Development. Geneva: WHO Press.
8. https://www.channelnewsasia.com/cnainsider/what-drives-people-torture-enslave-home-psyche-serial-maid-abuse-209761


Psychosocial Researcher : Jean De Dieu I.