IBIHE BITANU UMUBYEYI AGOMBA KUBA HAFI Y'UMWANA WE AKAMUTOZA IMYITWARIRE IBONEYE BIGISHOBOKA

Umubyeyi ni umuntu w’ingenzi cyane mu buzima bw’umwana, kuko ari we uha umwana urukundo, uburere, n’umutekano. Mu mikurire y’umwana, hari ibyiciro byihariye anyuramo, bikaba ari byo bimugaragariza cyane ko akeneye umubyeyi we hafi. Iyo umubyeyi amuba hafi muri ibyo bihe, umwana akura afite icyizere, imyumvire ifatika n’ubushobozi bwo kubaho neza mu bandi. Ariko iyo abura iyo nkunga, ashobora guhura n’ihungabana, ubwoba, cyangwa kwitinya. Iyi nyandiko isobanura ibihe bitanu bikomeye umwana aba akeneye cyane umubyeyi we, hashingiwe ku bushakashatsi n’inyigisho z’abahanga mu burezi n’imikurire y’abana.

1. Igihe cyo kuvuka n’imyaka ibanza y’ubuzima (0–3)
Mu myaka ya mbere y’ubuzima, umwana akenera cyane umubyeyi kuko ari bwo atangira kumenya isi amurimo, amarangamutima, n’ubuzima busanzwe. Uru ni rwo rugero rw’ingenzi mu gushyiraho isano y’urukundo hagati y’umwana n’umubyeyi we (Bowlby, 1988). Uburyo umubyeyi amwitaho, amufata mu biganza, amuhumuriza iyo arize, n’uburyo amusubiza mu byifuzo bye, byose bituma umwana yumva afite umutekano.
John Bowlby yagaragaje ko iyo umwana abonye “secure attachment,” akura yizera abandi, yifitiye agaciro kandi afite imbaraga zo guhangana n’ibibazo (Ainsworth et al., 1978). Iyo ababyeyi badahari cyangwa batamugaragariza urukundo, umwana ashobora gukura afite ubwoba, kutizerana n’abandi cyangwa guhura n’agahinda k’ihungabana. Iyi myaka itatu ya mbere y’ubuzima niyo shingiro ry’ubuzima bwose bw’umwana, bityo umubyeyi akwiye kuyikurikiranira hafi cyane.

2. Igihe umwana atangiye kugenda no kuvuga (imyaka 2–5)
Iki ni igihe umwana atangira kwigenga no kwiga gukora ibintu wenyine. Yishimira kugenda, kuvuga, kwambara cyangwa gufata ibyemezo bito. Ariko n’ubwo atangira kwigenga, akeneye cyane kumenya ko umubyeyi ari hafi ye, amufasha kandi amushima. Iyo umubyeyi amuhaye umwanya wo kwiga ariko akanamuyobora mu rukundo, bituma umwana akura yizera ko ashoboye (Erikson, 1963).
Umwana wiga gukora ibintu wenyine ariko agahabwa ubufasha mu gihe bikenewe, akura afite “autonomy,” ni ukuvuga ubushobozi bwo gufata ibyemezo no kumenya kwigenzura. Ariko iyo umubyeyi amubuza cyangwa akamucyurira, umwana akura afite isoni no kwishidikanya ku bushobozi bwe. Niyo mpamvu muri iki gihe, umubyeyi agomba kwerekana ko yizera umwana we, akanamutoza kwihangana no kumenya ibyo ashoboye.

3. Igihe umwana atangiye ishuri (imyaka 5–10)
Igihe cyo gutangira ishuri ni intambwe ikomeye mu buzima bw’umwana kuko atangira kwiga, gusabana n’abandi no kwiteza imbere mu bwenge n’imibanire. Umwana muri iki gihe akeneye cyane inkunga y’umubyeyi mu kumwereka ko ibyo akora bifite agaciro. Iyo umubyeyi amushimira ku byo agezeho, amwumva kandi amuha umurongo mu byo atabashije, bituma akura akunda kwiga kandi afite icyizere (Piaget, 1972).
Erikson (1963) yise iki cyiciro “Industry vs. Inferiority,” asobanura ko abana babona inkunga n’ishimwe bakura biyizera, naho abatahabwa ibyo bagakura biyumva nk’abadafite agaciro. Umubyeyi agomba rero kuba umuntu utera umwana we imbaraga, amwigisha gukunda ibyo akora, no kwihangana igihe abuze intsinzi. Iyo ababyeyi batabigaragaza, umwana ashobora gutinya kwiga cyangwa kumva ko ntacyo ashoboye gukora neza.

4. Igihe cy’ubugimbi n’ubwangavu (imyaka 11–18)
Iki gihe kirangwa n’impinduka nyinshi mu mubiri no mu bitekerezo. Umwana atangira gushakisha uwo ari we n’ibyo ashaka kuba. Ni igihe gikunze kugira urujijo ku marangamutima n’imibanire, bityo akaba akeneye cyane umubyeyi umutega amatwi kandi umwubaha. Iyo umubyeyi amuhaye umwanya wo kuvuga, amugira inama mu bwubahane kandi akamwereka urukundo, umwana akura afite icyerekezo.
Erikson (1963) yagaragaje iki cyiciro nka “Identity vs. Role Confusion.” Iyo umubyeyi atitaye ku mwana we muri iki gihe, cyangwa amubwira nabi, ashobora guhura n’ibibazo byo kwiyahura , gukoresha ibiyobyabwenge, cyangwa kwigunga. Umubyeyi akwiye kuba inshuti y’umwana muri iki gihe, akamuganiriza ku buzima, ubuzima bw’imyororokere, no kumwereka uko yifata mu muryango no mu bandi.

5. Mu bihe by’ibibazo n’amakuba
Uretse ibyiciro by’imyaka, hari n’igihe cyose umwana ashobora guhura n’ikibazo kimukomeretsa nko kurwara, gutsindwa, gutakaza inshuti, cyangwa guhura n’ihungabana ryo mu muryango. Ibi ni bihe akeneye cyane urukundo n’inkunga y’umubyeyi.
UNICEF (2018) igaragaza ko umwana uhabwa ubufasha mu bihe bikomeye akura afite ubushobozi bwo guhangana n’ibigeragezo byo mu buzima. Iyo umubyeyi amuba hafi, amuhumuriza kandi amwereka ko amwizera, umwana yumva afite umutekano kandi agasubira mu buzima busanzwe vuba. WHO (2020) nayo ishimangira ko kwita ku mwana mu bihe bikomeye bifasha mu gukumira indwara z’ihungabana n’agahinda k’indengakamere (depression).

Umwanzuro

Umwana akeneye umubyeyi mu buzima bwose bwe, ariko cyane cyane muri ibi bihe bitanu bikomeye: igihe avutse, igihe atangiye kugenda, igihe atangiye ishuri, igihe cy’ubugimbi, n’igihe ahura n’ibibazo bikomeye. Kuba umubyeyi hafi y’umwana si ukumugenera gusa ibyo arya cyangwa yambara, ahubwo ni ukuba isoko y’urukundo, umutekano, n’ubuyobozi. Iyo umubyeyi amuba hafi muri ibi bihe byose, umwana akura yifitiye icyizere, afite indangagaciro nziza kandi ashobora kubaho neza mu buzima bwe bwose.

Isoko (References)
1. Bowlby, J. (1988). A Secure Base: Parent-Child Attachment and Healthy Human Development. New York: Basic Books.
2. Ainsworth, M. D. S., Blehar, M. C., Waters, E., & Wall, S. (1978). Patterns of Attachment: A Psychological Study of the Strange Situation. Hillsdale, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.
3. Erikson, E. H. (1963). Childhood and Society. New York: Norton.
4. Piaget, J. (1972). The Psychology of the Child. New York: Basic Books.
5. UNICEF. (2018). Early Moments Matter for Every Child. New York: United Nations Children’s Fund.
6. World Health Organization (WHO). (2020). Nurturing Care for Early Childhood Development: A Framework for Helping Children Survive and Thrive to Transform Health and Human Potential. Geneva: WHO Press.
7. https://jessup.edu/blog/academic-success/the-psychology-behind-different-types-of-parenting-styles/



Psychosocial Researcher : Jean de Dieu I