HEALING AFTER LOSS CYANDITSWE NA MARTHA WHITMORE HICKMAN- IGITABO KIGAMIJE GUFASHA ABANTU BAHUYE N’AKABABARO GAKOMEYE KO KUBURA UMUNTU BAKUNDAGA. -DEEPLY RESEARCH IJD

1. Intangiriro
Igitabo Healing After Loss cyanditswe na Martha Whitmore Hickman ni igitabo kigamije gufasha abantu bahuye n’akababaro gakomeye ko gupfusha umuntu bakundaga. Umwanditsi yanditse iki gitabo ashingiye ku bunararibonye bwe bwite, cyane cyane nyuma yo gupfusha umukobwa we w’imyaka 16 wapfiriye mu impanuka aguye ku ifarasi.
Iki gitabo kigizwe n’ibitekerezo by’umunsi ku wundi (daily meditations) bigenda bikurikirana mu mezi yose y’umwaka. Ibi byatumye umwanditsi ashaka kugaragaza ko intimba ari urugendo rufata igihe kirekire, kandi ko umuntu ashobora gutangira gusoma igitabo aho ashakiye hose bitewe n’igihe arimo n’uko yiyumva.

2. Intimba si indwara ikira vuba
Kimwe mu bitekerezo by’ingenzi umwanditsi agarukaho ni uko intimba atari indwara ikira vuba, ahubwo ari urugendo rurerure. Abantu benshi baba bumva ko bagomba “gukira vuba” cyangwa “kureka kurira”, nyamara umwanditsi ashimangira ko ibyo bishobora kongera ikibazo aho kugikemura.
Avuga ko gupfusha umuntu ukomeye mu buzima bwawe, nk’umwana, uwo mwashakanye cyangwa umubyeyi, ari igikomere kidashira burundu, ahubwo gihinduka uko igihe kigenda. Intimba ishobora kumara imyaka, ariko uko umuntu agenda yemera no kuyitaho, itakaza ubushobozi bwo kugenzura ubuzima bwe bwose.

3. Kwemera amarangamutima yose (kurira si intege nke)
Umwanditsi agaragaza ko mu gihe cy’intimba, umuntu ashobora kunyura mu marangamutima menshi atandukanye:
– agahinda gakabije
– kurira cyane
– uburakari
– kwibaza ibibazo byinshi
– kwiheba
– guceceka cyane
Ibi byose abifata nk’ibisanzwe kandi byemewe. Yamagana imyumvire y’uko umuntu agomba “kwitwara neza” imbere y’abandi. Avuga ko kurira atari intege nke, ahubwo ari uburyo umubiri n’umutima byifashisha kugira ngo birekure ububabare.

4. Kwibuka uwapfuye no kumuvuga
Martha Whitmore Hickman agaragaza ko abantu benshi batinya kuvuga amazina y’abapfuye babo, bibwira ko kubibuka byongera agahinda. Ariko we avuga ko kwibuka uwapfuye ari ingenzi mu gukira.
Yerekana ko uko igihe kigenda, urwibutso rw’uwo wapfushije rushobora guhinduka:
– rukava ku kuba isoko y’agahinda gusa
– rukaba isoko y’urukundo, ishimwe n’icyubahiro
Kwibuka ibiganiro, ingeso nziza, inseko n’ibihe byiza mwagiranye bifasha umuntu kwibona ko urukundo rwabo rutapfuye n’iyo urupfu rwabatandukanye ku mubiri.

5. Umubano n’abandi bantu
Umwanditsi ashimangira ko intimba ikura umuntu mu bandi, ariko ko gukira bisaba kongera kwegera abantu. Avuga ko kuba wenyine cyane bishobora gutuma umuntu aheranywa n’agahinda ke.
Yerekana akamaro ka:
– inshuti zumva
– imiryango
– abantu bahuye n’akababaro nk’ako
– amatsinda y’abafashanya
Avuga ko rimwe na rimwe umuntu atabona amagambo yo kuvuga, ariko kubana n’abandi mu ituze cyangwa mu guceceka nabyo bishobora gufasha.

6. Kwiyitaho no kwita ku mubiri
Ikindi gitekerezo gikomeye ni uko kwita ku mubiri bifasha mu gukira umutima. Umwanditsi agaragaza ko n’iyo umuntu yaba adafite ubushake, ibikorwa bimwe bifasha kugabanya intimba, urugero:
– kugenda n’amaguru
– siporo yoroshye
– kwandika ibyiyumvo
– gusenga cyangwa gutekereza mu ituze
– kumva umuziki
– kuba mu byaremwe (ibiti, amazi, umuyaga)
Avuga ko ibi bifasha umubiri gusohora ingufu z’agahinda, bigafasha umuntu kongera kumva ko agifite ubushobozi bwo kubaho.

7. Kugira icyizere
Nubwo igitabo kivuga ku kababaro gakomeye, ntikiguma aho. Umwanditsi yerekana ko icyizere kigenda kigaruka buhoro buhoro, n’iyo cyaba gito cyane.
Ashimangira ko hari ibihe byiza bishobora kugaruka:
– akanya ko kumwenyura
– akanya ko kwishimira ikintu gito
– akanya ko kumva umutuzo
Ibi byereka umuntu ko n’iyo intimba ikiriho, ubuzima butarangiye.

8. Gukira si ukwibagirwa
Ubutumwa bukomeye cyane bw’igitabo ni uko gukira atari ukwibagirwa uwapfuye, ahubwo ari ukwiga kubaho ubuzima bushya utamuretse mu mutima.
Umwanditsi avuga ko umuntu ashobora kugera aho:
– yibuka ubuzima bw’uwo wapfuye, atari urupfu rwe gusa
– abona ko urukundo rwabo rukimuri mu buzima bwe bwa buri munsi
– akumva ko uwo yakundaga akiri kumufasha mu buryo bw’umwuka n’urwibutso

9. Umusozo
Muri rusange, Healing After Loss ni igitabo cyuzuye impuhwe, ukuri n’ubwitonzi. Gihumuriza abababaye, kikabaha icyizere ko n’iyo inzira ari ndende kandi igoye, gukira bishoboka.
Umwanditsi atwereka ko intimba ari igice cy’ubuzima, ariko ko urukundo rurusha urupfu imbaraga. Uyu ni umusanzu ukomeye ku muntu wese wahuye n’akababaro, n’abamuba hafi bifuza kumusobanukirwa no kumufasha.

📄 Open PDF (1769681493_content_2_Healing_After_Loss_-_Martha_Whitmore_Hickman.pdf)